When a lover cheats...

Photo from here.

The latest Hollywood buzz is Kristen Stewart's cheating on Robert Pattinson with her Snow White and the Huntsman director Rupert Sanders who is married to a British actress, Liberty Ross. She happened to play Kristen's mother in the movie (ha!).

When the photos of the two making out surfaced, Kristen immediately apologized to Rob through People Magazine, saying:

"I am deeply sorry for the hurt and embarrassment I've caused to those close to me and everyone this has affected. This momentary indiscretion has jeopardized the most important things in my life, the person I love and respect the most, Rob. I love him, I love him, I'm so sorry."

Immediately after Kristen's public apology, Rupert made his also through People Magazine:

"I am utterly distraught about the pain I have caused my family. My beautiful wife and heavenly children are all I have in this world. I love then with all my heart. I am praying that we get through this together."

Rob, soon after, packed his things from the house he shares with Kristen. Obviously, he is deeply hurt and needs some time alone to sort things out about his relationship.

What do you do when a lover cheats?

I was twice a victim of cheating. The first one admitted his mistake and apologized for it. While the other one, despite all the evidences, vehemently denies it... even until now.

I actually forgave the first one who cheated on me. I ended the relationship but we became friends after ward. The other one,  I cannot say that I have already fully forgiven him. Only time will tell if I could be civil, if not friends, with him.

Cheating or being unfaithful, among other things, is a violation of trust. Love is founded on trust and if ever that foundation has lost its integrity, more often than not, the relationship is bound to its bitter end.

According to Matthew 5:28...

"But I tell you than anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." 

According to Proverbs 23:27-28...

"For a prostitute is a deep pit; an adulteress is a narrow well. She lies in wait like a robber and increases the traitors among mankind."

When you learn about cheating, the normal initial reactions would be anger and hurt. After that, you go through denial stage... the cheating happened but you pretend that it never actually did. You put a face to protect the relationship although deep inside you feel shattered into pieces. The worst part, when you finally decide to end the relationship, you begin to blame yourself. You ask yourself if you have done something that made him do such a thing. You hurt and hurt over again until such time when you could no longer find answers to your questions, you finally accept that sometimes there are things that just aren't meant to be and the hurt miraculously disappears.

According to Matthew 6:15-16...

"For if you forgive others their trespasses, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."

I remember a story of a friend who was also cheated. She fell in love with the guy, married him and after just 9 months, the man packed his things for another woman. What hurts even more is that the woman is carrying her husband's child. Everything she knew about the guy were all lies. He married her for her money. She was harassed by the woman, accusing her of so many unbearable things. She filed for annulment to protect her finances and investments. She told me she is willing to forgive, but she will never forget.

I heard another story of unfaithfulness just recently. There is this married woman with two lovely kids who thought her husband is the most faithful man in the world. One day, her husband went home with a woman who is pregnant and claims the unborn child as his. It was devastating. I don't know what I would do if I were in her shoes.

They say a man or woman cheats because their significant other could not fill in or fit in a role they want. Others say they do it for the excitement and thrill of not being caught. I say, those who cheat give the worst excuses. If you can't be faithful, do not pursue a relationship... it is just not right to play with emotions.

According to James 5:16...

"Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working."

And if you have been cheated, the best revenge is to be the best person that you can be. Pray. Love again.